Brené Brown said a lot of things that I’ve always thought were important, but never had the knowledge to explain or the words to articulate. I’ve always tried to monitor and consider my words when working with kids and when interacting with others, but didn’t really know how deeply the wrong choice of words could impact someone, myself included. One of my main takeaways from watching this video was the difference between shame, guilt, humiliation and embarrassment and how they all work differently. I worry that because I didn’t know the difference, I might have hurt someone who didn’t deserve it. Hearing that shame could cause trauma in young kids was terrifying! I started going through my memories of my students, trying to see if I’d ever said or done something that would have shamed them. I would hate to have accidentally shamed a student because I didn’t know any better! I also worry that this kind of situation could be worse in one-on-one teaching because of the different kind of bond that gets formed between the teacher and student. Being able to avoid shaming language and being able to tell which emotion is active (in myself or others) seems like a daunting task, but it’s important work and I’m willing to take it on.
It surprised me that vulnerability is tied to so many important things. I can see why people are so reluctant to talk about it but learning more about vulnerability and shame and our reactions to it could influence not only our relationship with ourselves but our relationships with others. The language we use with each other holds a lot of power and I’m grateful I now have a better idea of which language to use.
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